oh the shallow sea
by General Button
Summary: "You confounded, asinine homo-sapiens!" There was a reason that Edd's beach was the cleanest on the coast, and it had little to do with despicable humans. Kevedd.
1. Chapter 1

Moving this from my tumblr to here. I hope you like mermaid au's, because I do! Nat was stolen from c2ndy2c1d; he's her OC. What a patoot!

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><p>"You confounded, asinine homo-sapiens!"<p>

Edd's screech traveled far and wide, but from where he sat on the outcropping of rocks on the ocean, no one was close enough to hear. It was actually very common for the merman to exhibit this range of bizarre behavior, especially when he noted that a human was littering on his shores. Again!

There was a reason that Edd's beach was the cleanest on the coast, and it had little to do with despicable _humans_.

Huffing with anger, he dove into the water with nary a splash, his tail-fin flicking so he shot through the water with ease. He could breathe with both his gills and his lungs which was very helpful when human unexpected appeared and forced him into the water. The similarities between the merman and the humans were their upper torsos, which made Edd question whatever gods had designed them. He would never understand their strange legs (he understood the mechanics perfectly; however, they looked simply ridiculous).

He swam up to the surface, allowing his gills to close as he inhaled the clean oxygen around him. _Because no one else around here cleans!_ Peering just above the water, he noted that the receptacle worthy trash was just shy of his reach. He could wait for the tide, but this was an opportune moment. Few came to the beach at night, and if he did not hurry, someone might wander into his path.

Resolved, Edd swam to the shallow area, the earlier warmth of the water now cool as night settled in. His elbows sunk into the smooth sand, shells tickling his skin as the tide grew with each passing surge. His skin prickled, both from the cool of the water and his nerves.

It was now or never.

Edd lunged forward, tail propelling him nearly out of the water. The air, even colder now, made him shiver. His tail thrashed in the shallow water unhappily. He was barely submerged now, but only had a few feet to go until he reached the offending piece of trash.

Filthy filthy humans!

Homo-sapiens cared nothing for their environment; not if it had little impact on them. Why, in twenty years when the ozone layer disintegrated and they all had immunosuppression, Edd would be laughing from deep under the tea. At least until the aquatic animals also began to die as well.

He chuckled at his own thoughts. As sardonic and cynical as he was, there were humans doing their best. He only hoped it would be enough. Gleefully Edd considered this, gritting his teeth as he reached for the discarded can. He wriggled his fingers. "Oh, blast. Come to me, human piece of trash." He huffed and hefted himself forward, arms straining as he managed the last few feet.

There. The tide would rescue him when the time came. For now: Edd reached and picked up the item, scowling at its metallic scent and texture. How did humans create such atrocities that killed much marine life? It was despicable. Why were these people incapable of being satisfied with life as it was; what was the need for technology? If they were truly innovative, merpeople colonies would have been found.

Edd exploded with a loud "ha!" at the very thought.

At the same time, a light flashed from 34 feet away.

Panic seized him immediately. _Oh dear oh dear._

Scrambling for the water, Edd dragged his nails into the sand and yanked himself forward. Unluckily for him, his panic caused for a lapse of intelligence; he didn't pay attention to his surroundings and his finger was sliced by the can's sharp edge. Edd squealed as his hand now dripping red.

_I can't go in the water now! What of infection?_

He glanced at the approaching light, swift now, and the sound that tore from his mouth was agonizing. He could not chance it! Hefting himself forward again, Edd flicked his tail heavily in an attempt to help his momentum.

And it was just his luck that the tide quickly withdrew the moment he reach its very edges. "No!" he called in a last ditch attempt, voice ringing in the clear night. The human's light shone on his head and Edd cursed the very day that he decided this was a good idea. Oh why had he not waited for the tide?

"Don't look at me!" he cried, as if it might stop the inevitable. The bouncing light (oh, what was it called again?) stopped at his chest, and then continued its descent until it reached the shimmering scales of his tail. He heard an intake of breath, the crunching of sand as it came closer, and then a deep "What the hell…"

"I'm— I'm—" Oh mer, what was he to do?!

"Are you one of those weird—I mean, uh— those fanatic who wears… mermaid tails?"

Oh the sweet heavens were shining upon him! It was a common imbecile. "Yes!" he yelped. "Mer_man_ thank you." Edd immediately launched into explanation. "I don't usually populate the area here, but I had decided a nightly swim might be, um, fun. As you can see, I miscalculated. Moving these fins with legs is quite difficult."

Mers didn't usually use human language; it was _thrilling_ to talk to another human being.

The human scratched his head, and Edd thought he saw a smattering of dark hair and a chiseled chest. "What are you doing at this time, might I ask?"

"Running with a friend. No crowds after dark." He might have grinned; the light had made Edd's vision in need of adjusting.

"Wonderful! And how was that?" he asked, excited.

"Um, tiring, dude. We're gonna head home soon. Need some help?"

"Oh! Yes, if you'd please. Just grab my fin—er, costume, as it were." He flicked his tail, trying to make it look awkward and gainly. Kevin raised an eyebrow and instead went for his armpits, lifting him pretty easily.

"Jeez, what have you got in there? Your tail sure is heavy drag for plastic. And won't you be cold like that?"

"I—" Edd's mind reeled. "I have a high body temperature. My tail is more than synthetic materials, if you must know. It is handmade." This was the strangest, most amazing conversation Edd had ever had the pleasure in which to partake!

"Oh?" The man brushed his hand over the scales. "It's really smooth. Rad, dude." He sounded impressed but distinctly weirded out.

"Yes, well, thank you for the assistance." The tide had come in. Perfect. "If you will now let me go..."

"Sure you're fine?"

"Yes; perfectly safe," Edd claimed, distracted. The water was calling to him, its sweet siren much like that thing humans like to ingest. Ah, what was it? Chocolate!

His tail flicked with practiced ease and he shot out of Kevin's arms into the water, forgetting completely about his wound—he didn't have time to worry right now when he needed to get away. He darted around an outcropping of rocks and turned towards his home. He was swift like a dolphin, smooth and practiced. Edd sailed through the water, elated to have actually _talked_ to another human being, his previous anger at them completely forgotten.

His head bobbing when he came up and glanced back for one brief moment. The human was standing there, staring out into the ocean. Their eyes met and Edd blinked at the flashlight landed on him. Unexpectedly a grin overtook his face, revealing a gap in Kevin's flashlight. He waved awkwardly and then his back arched as he dove, making little more than a splash.

Kevin blinked, watching for any sign of the man for another five minutes. Three more, and he heard footsteps behind him. "Dude, you were supposed to loop around!" echoed a male voice.

"Kev?" came one for feminine.

"Sorry," Kevin apologized, still staring at the water. "I just saw the weirdest fucking thing."

"Was it a whale?" his male friend grinned. The female snorted.

"Probably his imaginary friend. Let's just go. I'm starving. Who's idea was it to run in the middle of the night anyway?"

"It was yours, doofus. Hey, let's race to the lighthouse!"

"Oh Nazz, you have _so_ much to learn. I never lose a race."

"Oh yeah, Nat? I'll beat your ass any day. Kevin, back me up."

Kevin shot off in lieu of answer, putting the strange meeting in the back of his mind and focusing on the present.

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><p>Comments? Questions? Concerns? Review, slave.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Something under the surface shot forward smoothly, a dark spot under the sea.

Water rippled.

A head peered up from underneath the water and slender hands were placed on a jagged outcropping of rocks, avoided by sailors and swimmers alike.

Edd had long taken this outcropping as his own to peer and observe surface dwellers. He was never to be found in his cave, which often annoyed the other mers who went to visit him on occasion—though most of them visited merely for the purpose of finding books. Humans were fascinating creatures to most mers, if they were not entirely disgusted by them, and their culture was always an enjoyable subject of study.

English in both language and writing was taught to mer people (what else would they do with their time? And looking out for human signs of danger was a needed skill), but most of them did not retain the skill if they did not practice. Edd had an extensive collection that he had found on a ship, long-crashed, that had a library and managed to survive the water damage.

Each painstaking book was now cataloged and for use. The mers could come into his cave and read in the shallows. Edd was never lonely, even if few talked to him, their interest little more than the educational. He liked, as a human might say, his job.

Edd brought himself up on a flat surface, squinting as he watched the faraway humans putter about and throw their balls and toys around on the beach front. Summer, as they called it, was Edd's favorite time of year.

However, he had a different reason for coming out now, when usually he would not venture far with so many loafers about. He dove back under the water, streaking towards another large pile of rocks. It was still secluded, but this particular spot sometimes gathered its own adventurous two-leggers. Edd made sure only his head was above the water, and circled until he could peek around the edge of the rock. Planting his fingers firmly on the the surface to make certain waves would not carry him away, he heaved himself upwards.

After a careful search he spotted the red-head almost immediately, releasing a dreamy sigh.

Remarkable.

He watched the toned male jump around with one of his friends, his face friendly and open as he teased the female of their species about one thing or another. Ever since that fateful night, when he had spoken to a human for the first time, he couldn'd stay away. He deep voice and mannerisms were so interesting to Edd, and he was so handsome!

…Save for those legs. Edd scowled at them. They were so gangly and strange!

For a moment, Kevin's gaze swept his way, peering at nothing in particular, and Edd back ducked under the water, his cheeks burning hot. What if he had seen him? It was unlikely that he remembered Edd, but the possibility was nothing to be trifled with. It could mean the end of all things good if their kind was found out. Which was why the mers would never know Edd frequented these waters.

Kevin and his friends began jogging in a pattern that Edd recognized in those that exercised regularly, but they seemed to be running for the sake of it, smiles on their faces. Edd wondered what it felt like to run. It certainly couldn't be more enjoyable than swimming in the deep sea, bodies streaking smoothly through water, weightless. Humans might correlate the feeling to flying.

Edd followed their path, diving deeply so as to attract no attention. With as much time as he had, there was little else to do during the warm months other than stalk those who shared a common ancestor with him (in theory). He faced the surface and reveled in the warmth of the sun on his pale skin. The darker mers were revered for their easy camouflage, but Edd liked the thought of looking like Kevin did. It was a connection between the two of them.

He surfaced and glanced around; save for Kevin and his group, there was no one around. They were already passing by where Edd rested under the surface.

He brought his arms to his front and then aimed for deeper, cooler waters, shooting forward like a rocket. When the chill of the ocean was beginning to bite slightly, he turned his body and shot towards the surface, using speed and momentum to help. He burst from the surface with a clean splash, body sailing up into the air. For a brief moment he felt truly weightless, the sun warm and soft on his chest, and then he was falling again.

Heading towards an uncomfortable belly flop, Edd jerked his body at a better angle and managed a large but safe splash.

—-

They were avoiding a couple of rocks and slowing down when it happened. Kevin stopped when he was out of breath, not exactly keen on going for a hard run when he was meant to be relaxing.

After glancing behind himself, he noted that something was in the water. Just a speck in the big blue. Then it disappeared under. Kevin continued to stare, wondering if it was a big fish or something; maybe they could try sea fishing sometime. Deep ocean fishing was supposed to be totally rad.

"Kevin! What's up? Too slow to keep up?"

Grinning, Kevin made to turn, but then noted that the thing broke the water again. Except it kept going, and then it was mid-air. Because he was pretty far off, it could have been mistaken for a dolphin possibly—but no. There was no way—

"Hold on, I gotta see something!"

Kevin started running in the opposite direction of his friends, ignoring their shouts as he headed for the water.

It was him! The weird fanatic. Except there was no way some guy in a suit could do that. No fucking way.

Could he?

The water chilled Kevin's skin; he felt goosebumps rise as the water quickly rose to waist level. He had his eyes locked on the figure, which disappeared far too quickly for his liking. Now that there was no longer proof which he could clearly see, he felt like he was going insane. He felt water lap at his chin and started swimming, diving under to try and see if he could spot the mer-whatever.

Something caught his eye. It was moving further away from him, getting smaller with each passing second.

_There_!

Kevin struggled to move, realizing he'd been under too long. Cursing the inevitability, he swam to the surface and then broke free, taking that first liberating breath. Unluckily, a wave crashed over him just as he did, shoving a mouthful of seawater down his throat. He went under, his heart still pounding. His throat constricting.

Kevin kicked a few times, trying desperately to get back to the surface; however the waves were really working at him. He rolled around, disoriented, throat stinging.

_Maybe this was a shitty idea._

It was too late for maybe's, though. Too late now that he was being yanked and thrown around, his head pounding, heart racing, thinking _oh god what if I die._ He'd been so _stupid_, focusing on something he thought he saw, something that he may have hallucinated one night and couldn't stop thinking about. It was like chasing that impossible dream that you knew would never come true, falling deeper when the despair of impossibility threatened to swallow you.

_Fuck_, thought Kevin, closing his eyes. He couldn't tell what was up and what was down, and trying to reach for anything in the emptiness, knowing it was futile as he came up short. Bubbles burst from his mouth as he took a useless gasp, desperate for air but only finding the ocean choking him.

This was it then. The end.

Then, with a starting suddenness, he felt arms heft him by his armpits, pulling him up; up, until he broke the surface of the water. Kevin gasped wildly, but instead of sweet air he found himself retching, vomiting every ounce of salty ocean water he had swallowed. It was only when he was finally finished that he could find air around his unstoppable coughing.

Kevin was grateful for arms that wrapped around his waist, because his limbs felt like the spaghetti his mom made.

Who the hell had saved him? Water lapped at his shoulders and only when he noticed the shoreline getting closer did he realize whoever it was, was pulling him towards it. How far had he gone? _Fuck, they must be pissed_.

He felt whoever it was stop moving and then he was held against something incredibly smooth; almost slimey. Kevin's eyes opened sluggishly and he tried to say something, but he ended up coughing and panting.

Soft hands smoothed over his forehead, brushing wet strands out of the way. He struggled to open his eyes, but it felt easier to go with the flow, so to speak. He moaned, trying to lean against his savior.

Instead he was place shallow waters. Kevin, feeling weak as a kitten, couldn't find it in him to protest as he sank into the warm sand. They must've been on some small island.

"Who are you?" He asked when he turned over to face them. A green-eyed gaze tooth-gapped smile met him.

"I'm not hallucinating am I?"

The merman—jeez, there was his tail, shining brilliantly under the sun—smoothed his hands over his hair, which stood on all ends. A long scar covered the left half of his skull, which he covered self-consciously.

"Unless sea water is a hallucinogen, then no," the merman answered. He sounded just like Kevin remembered. Closing his eyes to make sure this was real, Kevin counted to ten and opened them slowly.

"That's good. So I'm pretty sure you can't swim that well in that—" he pointed to the tail that twitched effortlessly on the sand. "—if it's fake. Call me crazy, but you're... are mermaids real?" His throat felt raw. "And you saved my life." He wanted to close his eyes and maybe rest a little, but thought that maybe the boy would disappear if he did.

Edd looked disconcerted, like he'd hoped Kevin wouldn't figure that out. "Oh! Why were you in the water in the first place?! Certainly you could see the how high the waves were and yet you still ventured into the sea!"

Had they been that bad? He hadn't noticed. He'd been so intent on seeing this guy. "I saw you," he croaked. "I remembered you and I saw you. I wanted to see if you were real."

The merman's face contorted briefly and then settled on a strange expression, turning very red. "W-why I should—"

He stopped and his sharp gaze landed over Kevin's shoulder.. "Your friends," he said softly. "They're on their way in a boat."

"Yeah?" It was funny how nonchalant Kevin sounded. "I knew those guys cared." He chuckled.

By contrast, the kid looked sad. He was worrying his lower lip and smoothed his hands down the shimmering scales that covered his tail.

_Human fingers. Mermaid tail. What the flying fuck_.

It seemed that the epiphany hit him just as the mer thrust him towards the water.

"I must go. It was intriguing to finally talk to a human again." He seemed to come to some conclusion. "Oh! And please don't tell anyone we exist. Thank you."

"Wait, wha? Where are you going—"

But the mer slipped into the water, his tail brush Kevin as he did. Kevin reached out and felt it slide against his hand, and then he was gone. He stared at his hand, willing himself to wake up if this was a dream. It sure felt like it.

Voices were calling his name, particularly shrill in Nazz's mouth. He felt dizzy.

"Kevin!"

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><p>You know the drill.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm...ALIVE!**

**Hopefully all makes sense. I figured Edd could still be Double D since mermaids are reading books and would figure out ways to spell their names (I hadn't thought that deeply about it, tbh). Some quotes are from the show. I plan to finish this. Thank you for your support. :)**

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><p>When Edd returned to his home in the sea cave, his heart was still pounding. His lungs ached with the urge to laugh uncontrollably; he wanted to swim in circles.<p>

He had spoken to the object of his human-admiration yet again! Edd pressed cool fingers to his cheeks, feeling the latent heat from excitement coupled with embarrassment. The fact that the human had risked his life to see Edd made the veracious beat of his heart quicken further.

"Humans are endlessly fascinating!" he squealed. A nearby mer gave him a strange look, to which Edd flashed a bright-toothed smile. Normally slightly reclusive, he could not keep this excitement to himself. He had to tell someone!

After making certain that his makeshift library was in order, he dove under the water in order to make his way to the populous caverns that housed the rest of the mers in this area. He darted around colorful wildlife, his interests little in the wildlife. He needed to find Eddy and Ed; they would understand the situation without "freaking out", surely.

Edd twirled around a school of fish, the ocean's cool waters doing little to tamp down his jubilation.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Eddy shouted.

"Shhh! Keep your voice down," Edd hissed, looking around. They were clearly alone, but that didn't negate the possibility of an interloper making an appearance. "I assure that it was perfectly safe, Eddy."

Said merman was looking at him as though he'd grown another fin. His tail thrashed wildly, his arms working in a frenzy of frustration. "Are you fucking crazy?" Edd frowned; Eddy had a fondness for human profanity that he did not share. "I expect this kinda stuff from Ed, but you're supposed to be the smart one!"

"Oh, please Eddy, do you really expect a simple human to have the ability to convince the world of our existence? That coupled with modern technology, of which I have only had glimpses-" he sighed longingly, "-could leave him with any other conclusion. He may have questioned our existence, but I didn't _necessarily _give him a concrete answer. Isn't this exciting?" he gushed. "Perhaps I can conduct a closer study with this subject. I've always wanted-"

"Wait, wait!" Eddy sighed loudly and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You're never the reckless guy, Edd. That's _my_ job, got it? Why'e you suddenly interested in this dork?"

Edd hesitated. "It's not necessarily him alone. He did have companions and they appeared to be using their legs in a regular motion for no reason at all-"

"I'm gonna stop you there," Eddy interrupted, his grin shark-like. "I get it, Double D. Humans can sometimes look as good as I do. Some of those legged maids are hot, I gotta admit." Edd sputtered. Eddy's smile disappeared and he moved closer to a flustered Edd. "You'd better be careful your little crush doesn't get all of us killed. I've got enough problems with recent shark attacks. My people are stretched thin."

"C-crush? I have no such thing!" he shrieked. Then, in response to Eddy's grin, he forcefully calmed himself. "One would think you of all mers would appreciate that 'business is booming'," he remarked, his fingers forming air quotes he had observed the humans use. Eddy ran a business of sorts that involved fewer brains and more brawn. He used Ed and a variety of muscled merman to offer services as escorts for younger or smaller mers that feared the deeper parts of the ocean, but still wanted to explore. Edd wasn't entirely sure what his profits included (nothing like human _money_, certainly), but he clearly felt it was worth the danger.

At Eddy's curious look, Edd fought a blush. It wasn't an obsession like Eddy claimed: he was just curious!

"Look, I don't really care. So...whatever, egghead. I can tell you're not about to stop seeing this loser-"

"I am not _seeing him_," Edd hissed.

"-so I'm just going to hold the 'I told you so' for later," Eddy continued. "Don't come begging to me when you've got harpoons sticking out of your back."

Edd narrowed his eyes and flicked his tail, sending himself up a few meters. "Don't worry Eddy. I'm well aware of the consequences. It's just a mere curiosity. Nothing more," he lied, secretly hurt by Eddy's lack of compassion. It wasn't anything new.

Thinking of Kevin's dark eyes made his heart race. He effortlessly swam around Eddy and out into the open ocean.

Once on his own, he twisted his fingers together, a nervous tell. As much as he hated to hear Eddy's (surprisingly) rational response to his situation, he had a point. Humans were complex, devious creatures. Ed was a testimony of that.

Edd was frowning, deep in thought, when he ran into a brick wall. He shot backwards, sputtering, when he recognized the person attached.

"Ed!" he exclaimed, maneuvering around his friend in excited circles. "I haven't seen you in days. Eddy tells me you've been busy."

"Double D!" Ed shouted, pulling him into a crushing hug. It was something mers had picked up from the humans that some enjoyed. It was personally awkward to Edd, but he put up with it for his lovable friend. "I got to fight a shark! He was twice the size of us!"

Edd's worry for Ed was quelled when he noted how excited the other seemed at the prospect of defending passengers from giant fish. "That's lovely, Ed. I'm relieved that you and your…" he peered behind him and saw a mermaid wave to him shyly, "passenger are safe. Go report to Eddy; I have something to which I must attend. I hope to see you later!"

Ed was already swimming backwards, well used to the drill. "Sure thing, Double D! See you later!" he called, his grin splitting his face. When he was out of sight, Edd's big smile softened and he continued on his journey.

He wasn't going to see whether or not the human he had rescued was by the ocean. Certainly not. He was merely curious to see the state of the beach. That was all.

Edd grinned to himself and surged for the warmer surface water.

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><p>Kevin told himself that he wasn't insane. Amongst the worried faces of his friends, it was easy to focus on Rolf, who looked like he was disappointed rather than worried. As if on cue, he opened his mouth.<p>

"Stale end piece of white bread" he declared. "Rolf knew that agreeing to your strange customs of endless running would result in this turn of events. What manner of spirit lured you into the wild waters?"

Kevin was still reeling from his jaunt in said ocean, and only had the strength to grin weakly. "You're whack, dude," he croaked, receiving relieved smiles from his two other companions.

"Dude, are you okay?" Nazz said softly, her gaze warm. Kevin rubbing the back of his neck.

"He's fine!" Nat declared, smacking his back. Kevin doubled over into a coughing fit, earning Nat two sets of glares. "Okay, mostly fine. Mostly is good, right Kev?" As nonchalant as he sounded, his eyes were dark with worry.

Kevin didn't know what to say. They'd call him insane if he told them that he might believe that mermaids were real.

_Don't tell anyone that we exist. Thank you._

That guy's English had been a little rusty and awkward, but his diction and knowledge were perfect. Kevin stared at his hand and clenched it into a fist, nerves remembering the slimy feeling of his tail. Just like a fish, he thought. When he looked back up, all of his friends were shooting each other worried glances and the medic or coast guard-Kevin didn't really care at this point-bent down to examine him for any wounds.

"You really scared us, Kevin. Are you sure you're okay?" Nazz whispered. "We can go to a doctor if you need it!"

"No, no. I'm fine, guys." He balked at Nat's disgruntled frown. "Dude, seriously. A little water never hurt anyone, right?"

"Almost drowning for no apparent reason does," Nazz snapped.

Kevin sighed.

He spent the next thirty minutes convincing them he hadn't gone crazy. His cover story was that he'd just wanted to swim and get some cool seashells under water. After much convincing, they seemed to buy what he was selling. Clearly though they were keeping an eye on him, because for the next few hours he wasn't let out of their sight. They went and got ice cream, dropped Rolf off at his farm, and returned to the Peach Creek boardwalk for some more summer fun. The entire time, Kevin couldn't stop turning over his mind's image of the boy's smiling face. It was obvious that the others could tell he was miles away, but they didn't bother him about him. Much.

He sighed._ Maybe that guy is crazy? That could have been fake. Japan makes some weird tech._

Kevin kept staring out into the ocean, as if hoping he would see the non-human aberration peek up at any moment. He found himself strangely disappointed when he didn't.

_Maybe I am crazy_, he thought, digging his feet into the sand. His toe poked a seashell that reflected the sunlight brightly. He watched as sand cascaded over his feet when he raised them out of the sand. Nazz and Nat were on either side of him, talking about the upcoming school year. He wasn't looking forward to his first year of university; it would really bite him hard. He'd never been great at keeping up in school.

When he sighed for the fifth time, Nat poked him.

"What gives, Kev bro? Feelin' like a stale piece of white bread again?" Nat responded to Kevin's glare with a snicker.

"Nothing! I'm just..." he grasped for something to talk about, "worried about school, I guess." He looked at the gentle waves and felt his heart flutter.

"Aw," Nazz cooed. "You know we got your back, right? I'm planning to be a chem major, so you can count on me for the hard stuff. Any idea what you wanna do?"

He shrugged. After staring at a piece of floating debris, he said the first thing that popped into his head. "Marine biology would be cool."

"Whoa!" Nat exclaimed. "When did you grow a brain in that square noggin' of yours. I never knew you liked marine wildlife."

Kevin shrugged again, feeling his spirits lift a little at the thought of having a purpose for his education and not just school. Fish _were_ pretty rad, if he were honest with himself. "I dunno...it just came to...me...what the..."

Later he would blame his trip to the ocean on his reaction to the next chain of events. A dark smattering of what looked like seaweed appeared far out into the water, and then two eyes followed. When they spotted Kevin, they widened considerably and disappeared.

Kevin stood up suddenly, stopping himself shy of running into the ocean again. "It's him," he hissed to himself, fingers curling into fists. It had to be.

"Kevin? Kevin!" Nat and Nazz were both calling his name, snapping him out of his reverie. He rubbed a hand over the front of his shirt, feeling his heart's quick beat. "What's wrong with you today? You sure you don't need your brain checked?"

With his heart still racing, he turned away from the water and smiled at his friends. "Just thought I saw a shark, y'know? I freaked out a little. I think it was just a dolphin, though."

After much cajoling he promised his friends they could go get dinner at a nearby diner and leave this all behind them. After casting the beach a final goodbye, Kevin promised himself that he would stop obsessing over whether or not what he'd seen was real.

No; he was going to find out for himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Took so long because I've really been debating how to write this. I think I got it now. Here's actual plot!**

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><p><em>Not good not good not good!<em> Edd shoved himself underneath the water the moment Kevin's and his eyes met, pressing himself hurriedly against the rocky surface nearby. He wasn't certain that his heart could take this much excitement in one day.

Edd shivered as Eddy's words echoing in his mind. As far as his curiosity took him, he was being far too reckless for his own good. Safety had always been the first thing on his mind! Safety for their people, their culture; everything they had ever worked towards, including keeping their existence out of the average human's span of knowledge. The fact that he had returned to the same spot multiple times in one afternoon left Edd feeling ashamed of himself.

And all for one mere boy! Edd closed his eyes and allowed the warm ocean waves to lull him into a greater sense of calm. His gills worked to extract oxygen from the water. Silence soothed his nerves.

Once he was no longer on the verge of having a meltdown, he rose to the surface and peered very cautiously around the edge of the stone. He had chosen this spot specifically because there were various places to duck behind, but he hadn't expected Kevin to also show his face.

Edd peered around his hiding spot again. Tinkling laughter came from one direction of the beach and loud hollering from the other, but none of it sounded like _him_. It would be hard to forget his particular cadence: amusing, but filled with warmth. With a mixture of gratifying relief and puzzling disappointment, the human—Kevin—was no longer in sight.

Edd's sank back into the water, allowing its embrace to swallow him until his back touched sand. _What is happening to me?_ As many times as he reminded himself that coming back would be a terrible idea, the thought of seeing the boy's grin made it almost worth the risk.

_No_! he told himself firmly, shaking his head. _I will not be a slave to my emotions. I am rational and intelligent. This is the end of my temporary insanity._

Edd repeated this to himself in hopes that he would believe it.

* * *

><p>Kevin didn't have the chance to go check out the ocean for another few days. The tail end of getting ready for college life at the end of his summer kept him cooped inside his house or different supply stores. Not to mention financial aid. Once he had a moment to think for himself, he realized that almost a week had passed. A part of him panicked.<p>

What if the merman was gone?

Another part of himself—the larger part that appealed to his rationality, had been convinced that it was all a dream—that or a hallucination from too much seawater. Although he knew that eyesight was a surprisingly unreliable way to identify things, something was bugging him. Kevin knew it couldn't be a hallucination because that person—merman, had been so different from anything he could have imagined. A lithe body, shiny teeth with a gap, and a long scar along the side of his scalp.

He had to do something about this or it would eat him up. There was no guarantee that he would even see anything, but he had to take the chance. Besides, if he didn't find anything, he could always just take a nightly run.

After a few hours of consideration, Kevin had come up with a loose plan that involved thoroughly scanning the beach and hoping for the best. From what little he'd been able to gather, the mermaid—man, whatever—was pretty careful about his methods of visiting the surface if he'd never even talked to a human before. That, or he was scared. It could have been both, honestly.

But then why did he save Kevin? Surely many other people had drowned. Or had they convinced themselves it was a hallucination? Had they even seen the merman?

He scrubbed his fingers through his stubble and sighed. At this rate he would have a headache by midnight.

With an angry grunt, Kevin used his frustration to finish shov most of his things into his bag. He packed away a few snacks, a fresh pair of clothing (just in case), and his headlight. His phone would stay in his pocket, at the ready in case there was some kind of emergency. Sometimes the moon and streetlights were enough when he wanted to run, but if he was interested in running on the beach, he needed his headlight.

Kevin stared at it, reflecting on what had started this entire _thing_, whatever it was. Right there he almost reconsidered. Going to the beach on a dark night in search of a _merman_ was borderline insane. But then he thought about the boy's smile and the long scar across his scalp and the worried butterflies in his stomach settled.

_I'm not crazy. I can't be_. Kevin opened the door to his room as quietly as possible and tip-toed down the stairs. His parents had years of experience with him and they were _very_ light sleepers. When the bottom step creaked, Kevin froze, but he didn't hear any sounds coming from their open door. After a good few minutes, he continued his journey and made it to the front door.

Pale moonlight greeted him as Kevin let the door swing out in front of him. A gentle breeze caressed his cheek. Reenergized, he took off into the direction of the beach.

* * *

><p>Nearly a week went by since Edd's little stint with the human. He'd overcome the innate sense of panic that had convinced him he was going to cause their entire culture to simultaneously collapse every time he saw a human, and continued on as normal. It was a relief when he didn't see Kevin again, because it meant that he could get his head back on his shoulders and focus on the reason he often strayed for the surface: keeping the beach clean.<p>

Edd had been rather lax in the last few days, which meant that there was debris that made its way further into the ocean. _Humans are disgusting_, he reasoned as he lifted a pair of what appeared to be some article of clothing that they insisted on wearing, as little as it was. Edd's mind began to wander, leading him to wonder what kind of "clothes" that Kevin preferred.

When he realized that he was becoming distracted, Edd clenched the cloth between his two fists and made hurriedly for the shore. His method of cleaning left him unable to dispose of the rubbish that made its way into his ocean, but he was able to put it into a neat pile by where some sort of sentry always bypassed the area and took the trash away for him.

After sorting his pile by shape and size, Edd swam backwards and surveyed his pile-up in the bright moonlight. It was a full moon in particular, without a cloud in the sky. The star twinkled at him, leaving him with a contented feeling. Deciding that he could use a moment of relaxation, Edd hoisted himself onto a patch of sand that was just outside of the tide and lay back to watch the stars. Constellations in particular had always fascinated him; his knowledge was not vast by far, but a single book on the subject gave him enough information to take matters into his own hands.

Just when he was naming the few that he could spot in a short amount of time, he thought he heard movement. Immediately Edd was on alert, pushing himself back into the open water. When he looked behind him, he could see neither an animal nor any signs of human activity. Minutes passed and Edd began to relax.

He was just going back to gazing at a cluster of stars when he heard shuffling sounds coming closer. A beam of light bounced off of the terrain before settling on him.

Edd gave a wild screech and flailed backwards into the water, eyes wide. Then he noticed that the figure looked awfully familiar.

"K-Kevin?" he said without thinking. What was _he _doing here? Edd's voice rang unnaturally high, a product of shock and horror.

"Holy shit! It's really you."

Of all the luck! Edd was not one to normally curse the fate of the universe, but as he pushed himself back into the water, he wondered if the universe had it out for him.

"Be gone! I—I don't have time to fool around with your kind." Edd was only thinking of escaping when he saw the light jerk to the left, blinding him for a moment. He flailed as he felt hands slide gracelessly along the tips of his fins.

"Wait! Wait!" Kevin pleaded, sounding desperate. At the point Edd was safely in the water, ready to be taken by the tide. Kevin was all but submerged with him, struggling to make some sort of gesture with his hands.

Despite his better judgement, Edd paused. The full moon's glow shone brilliantly over Kevin, illuminating him to a shocking degree. In his hand he had the lighting device that had momentarily blinded him.

"Dude, chill out. I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise. Look, I just—" when it was clear that Edd wasn't going to leave (yet), Kevin moved back onto the wet beach sand and planted himself down in a more comfortable position. "I didn't actually think I'd find you. I've been on the beach for an hour, searching. You really kinda freaked me out the other day." He looked at his hand; the one that had touched Edd. "It still feels the same. I'm half convinced I'm crazy about this whole mermaid thing."

Edd took a moment to process the way that the conversation had changed. "I apologize for...freaking you out," Edd slowly tested, his voice forming unfamiliar words with surprising ease. "I'm not entirely sure what you want from me. Have you not told anyone about my kind? Perhaps your authorities?" He cocked his head.

Kevin's eyes grew wide. "Hell no! You think I'd tell those dudes anything? Besides, they wouldn't believe me. I'm not even sure if _I _believe me." He rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "I can't even process this right now. I'm fucking exhausted."

Ignoring the unfamiliar lingo, Edd pressed for further information. "What's too much?" He chanced moving closer. "Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm fine. Let's—fuck, I can't believe this is happening." For some reason, Kevin grinned. "Why don't we start over, if you're willing to talk to me." He stuck his hand out in an unfamiliar gesture. "My name's Kevin, although I'm pretty sure you knew that. I'm guessing you remembered from, uh, saving me and all that."

Edd stared at the offered hand. "Indeed," he said. With hesitation he reached out, allowing Kevin to take the lead. He covered Edd's palm with his own and shook it up and down solidly, his grip firm. Warm. When Edd withdrew his hand, he stared at it.

"Fascinating. Do all humans communicate in this manner?" Realizing that he had essentially admitted to his inhuman nature, Edd attempted to backtrack. "Er, that is to say—oh, you already know what I am. It's pointless to attempt to convince you otherwise."

"I get it," Kevin interrupted. "You're a...merman? I'm going to pretend this makes sense right now and just accept it for what it is. What's your name? You mentioned there are more of you?"

Edd balked at facing his questions. They were hardly private, but answering would leave an opening for discovery. Was it really worth the danger to allow this human to acknowledge his existence?

The terrifying part was that Edd wasn't sure that he knew how to answer that himself.

He swallowed. "My name is Eddward, although many call me Edd. Double D is also a nickname that some have used. There are…" he took a fortifying breath, "we have a colony that houses the rest of us." It was all he was willing to share.

"Fair enough. So, Edd….Double D." Kevin grinned. "Since I we probably don't have all night, I'll try to keep it short. It's obvious you guys are intelligent. Are all mermaids—er, merpeople," he waved to Edd, "like you? With the fins and the human torso and stuff?"

"Somewhat," Edd answered carefully, although less hesitant than before. "We share similar DNA, I would imagine. I have basic knowledge of your anatomy and sciences, but from our point of view it still confounds us. We have both gills and lungs, from my understanding. I speak to you now breathing your air, but if I went under, I would just as easily use my gills."

Kevin looked "freaked out" again. "That's so fucked up. How in the world—? I'm not even sure I wanna know at this point. So," he refocused, "do merpeople eat other fish?"

The night wore on, the moon's glow illuminating the intelligent shine in Kevin's eyes as he bombarded Edd with questions. It was just as a fascinating experience for him as it was for the human; they were both learning about each other, although most of Kevin's questions related to human culture that confused Edd more than he felt inclined to admit.

At one point he found himself lying on the sand next to Kevin, having exhausted his reserve for treading water in one place for a long period of time. He hoped that the darkness was able to conceal the hot flush that spread across his cheeks the longer they talked. Edd feared that his voice would go out, having never spoken this much using just his lungs. It was both awkward and easier the longer he did it. His gills ached, but his lungs clearly provided the necessary oxygen.

He barely noticed when his tail started to dry. Edd never had a need to stay on land, and his intelligence made it difficult for him to ever become "beached" for very long, if it happened. He attempted to mimic Kevin's posture at one point, earning a bought of delightful laughter.

"Hey, are you okay being up here like this? It's been—" Kevin pulled out a strange rectangle that illuminated his face. "—hours. Do you have anywhere you need to be?"

"Not particularly," Edd responded after clearing his throat. His gills felt like they were on fire, and he realized that his tail was quite dry. "I should submerge myself again. I've never stayed up this long, and I fear that my gills may be—" Edd stopped when he felt the overwhelming urge to cough. He curled forward as it took him by force, leaving him feeling dizzy.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need me to push you into the water?" Kevin hovered uncomfortably before he pressed a hand to Edd's tail. It was nearly bone dry. "Dude," he urged, when something very strange started happening.

Edd shuddered, his body jerking unnaturally. Kevin thought it might be a seizure until he noticed that his tail was glittering. At closer inspection he realized it was because the scales were becoming loose and _falling off_ as Edd shook.

"Holy fuck, holy fuck. Shit—what do I—Edd!" He wrapped his arms around Edd's body as the scales continued to slide off of his...skin? At the same time, the skin was parking and changing, forming what looked very much like legs and feet and...other things. Kevin pushed down his surging panic and focused on keeping Edd calm.

"Hey, look at me." Glassy, wide eyes met his gaze.

"What's—" Edd began, and shuddered once more before he could speak. "What is happening to me? Why does my tail feel so peculiar?"

Kevin cupped his cheeks and forced Edd to look at him. "Dude, before you look...just don't freak out, okay? Uh, I'm not sure what happened, but you look a lot more like me than before."

When Edd was able to look down, he went white as a sheet. "W-what?" he whispered, reaching down. When his fingers met smooth skin, he jerked back and started shaking. His hands went to his throat where his gills had previously resided. Nothing but smooth skin. Skin. Human skin. Legs.

"GOOD LORD!" Edd screeched, using his arms to propel himself backwards, as if that would save him from what had just occurred. Then, lacking any other outlet, Edd let out an unholy scream that must have been heard for miles.

"Fuck," said Kevin intelligently.


	5. Chapter 5

**Trying to move the story ahead and keep it more concise until I get to the meat of it, so expect some skipping around! Thank you for your patience.**

* * *

><p>"That was close." Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. He cast a glance to the left where Edd was huddled underneath his jacket, three seconds from a panic attack.<p>

Before he'd had a chance to even think about calming Edd down, a nearby policewoman must have heard Edd's scream. As she mosied her way over to the two of them, Kevin fought his rising panic as Edd made no attempts to hide how disturbed he was. When she saw Edd acting terrified, it had taken Kevin a long time to convince her that no, the two of them were not having sex, and Edd was just afraid because he'd...seen a shark.

"Really," she said doubtfully, eyeing Edd who refused to meet her eyes. According to Kevin, the two of them had wanted to go skinny dipping and Edd was just cold. The fact that he was shaking could be attributed that. The scales that littered the ground were a little more farfetched, but either she didn't notice or didn't care, because she left it alone. He wasn't sure he wouldn't have broken down himself.

Eventually she left them to their business, making them promise to return home as soon as possible. "Or I'll tell your parents you were out this late," she told Kevin. "Your mom and I play tennis and I know where you live."

God, could his life get any weirder? "Seriously," he lamented. "What is my life?"

"What is _your _life?!" Edd screeched. At Kevin's beseeching look he managed to lower his voice, but not by much. "What has _my _life become? My tail, it's—" he swallowed, looking very close to being sick. "My scales. Kevin, what could have caused such a travesty? Do you have any idea what this means? I—I..."

Kevin winced when Edd started hyperventilating. His fingers clawed uselessly at his hair.

"Look," Kevin said, raising his hands placatingly. "Just calm down. This is," he let out a laugh, "crazy, but let's just...calm down and think about what we can do to fix it." Kevin reached out towards the scales littering the beach and began collecting them. As if he had forgotten that such a thing was possible, Edd jerked to life and followed Kevin's example, scrambling to pick up every piece.

"Maybe there's a way to put them back on," said Edd, his voice wavering dangerously. Kevin couldn't blame him; he'd want to cry if he'd suddenly grown a tail and been thrown into the ocean.

"I dunno," replied Kevin. "Maybe." He examined the thin pieces, but with the full moon now covered by a large cloud, it was difficult to see. The way that Edd was clinging to each piece, he wasn't sure he'd get a chance to see them later. "Or maybe we just need to, uh, get you wet again? Maybe mermaids turn into people—humans—when they get dry."

"I suppose," said Edd after some debated. He scooted himself towards the water, looking disgusted by the graceless way his legs moved. "How do you control these things? They're revolting."

Kevin tried not to take offense as he helped Edd, keeping his eyes averted. When he was submerged up to his waist, the tide licking at his abdomen, they waited a good thirty seconds before either of them spoke.

"It isn't working," Edd moaned. He covered his face with his hands and cried out in frustration. "This is not good!"

Kevin scratched his head, brain working at overdrive. "I have no fucking clue what's going on. If that's not gonna work...I don't know what will." When Edd shivered violently, he held out his hand. "For now, we should get you out of there. If you're human for now, you can catch a cold. The water gets chilly at night."

Edd reached for his hand. He was unprepared when he was suddenly jerked forward and up, stumbling like a newborn foal. Kevin supported his upper body as he stared at his legs, willing them to work. "How do you move with these?" While he knew of walking theoretically, it had never occurred to him that he may find the action useful at any point in his lifetime.

"Uh." Kevin looked up at the sky, trying his hardest not blush. It was so _awkward_ holding up another naked guy. "I've never had to explain it before. You just...put one foot in front of the other."

"Your help is invaluable."

"Just give me a sec," said Kevin. "Okay, you know what, let's start off sitting down. I probably need to explain most of this to you."

"I do have some knowledge," argued Edd, recalling little from textbooks he had managed to salvage. The names of body parts eluded him, but he could recall most of their functions.

"Right, well it'll be way easier for me to assume you don't know anything." Kevin pointed to his shoe. "This is a foot. Actually it's a shoe, but underneath the shoe is a foot."

Edd watched him go through a series of strange motions to pull the shoe off of his foot, which both puzzled and intrigued him. How did it fit in there without pain?

"May I see?" he asked, reaching out curiously.

Kevin pulled back, keeping it just out of his reach. "When you can walk, we talk about shoes."

Edd huffed. "Very well. Continue."

Edd spent the next hour learning to walk like a relatively normal human being. Kevin gave Edd his pants, figuring being out in his underwear wasn't his biggest concern at the moment. Edd was taking it surprisingly well, mostly because interest in the human world kept him from reflecting on his situation too much. He was a surprisingly quick study, catching on very quickly. His legs didn't seem to suffer from any type of atrophy; the muscles seemed in proportion to the rest of his body, which was too freaky for a sleep-deprived Kevin to think about.

"I am so fucking tired," exclaimed Kevin once Edd was able to keep up with him without stumbling. "I'm glad you're smart, because I think my brain is dead."

"Not to rain on your parade," cautioned Edd, "but there is one small problem." He bit his lip, rubbing the top of his head self-consciously. "I don't have a home in this city. I regret to ask more of you—"

"Don't worry about it," interrupted Kevin, too tired to argue with him. "You'll stay at my place. I'll think of something in the morning. My parents will be asleep right now, thank god."

Edd opened his mouth as if to argue, then thought better of it. "Thank you," he said, going uncharacteristically quiet. The silence stretched on, the two of them far too exhausted to break it. Kevin's house was about a twenty minute walk from the beach, but it felt like it was much longer.

If they got any weird looks, he didn't notice. Edd was lost in his own thoughts. Occasionally his tongue would slip out between his two teeth. When Kevin found himself staring, he had to physically shake himself awake and refocus his attention in front of him.

Once they reached his house Kevin quietly slipped the door open and helped Edd up the steps to his room. Their hands were clasped tightly, radiating heat that traveled up Kevin's arm and reminded him just how cold he was.

"In here," he whispered, ushering him in. Once the door was shut, he turned on his lamp light and pulled out a bunch of blankets for a makeshift bed.

"What are you doing?" Edd asked, blinking owlishly. His curiosity was somewhat renewed as he watched Kevin hop around the room, moving around various implements. Finally having the opportunity to see a lightbulb up close made him particularly curious.

"How do you normally sleep?" said Kevin, interrupting Edd's thoughts.

"The surface feels very different from underwater," Edd admitted. "Assuming it works the same way, I tend sleep on the smoother surfaces in my cavern." However, any surface seemed appealing in that moment.

"Right. You can take the bed just in case you're not used to the rest of this. I think I have a plan for tomorrow, but we're gonna need to do it right. I'll explain it tomorrow," he assured, waving a hand. Kevin would have explained the bed more thoroughly, but he was already falling asleep. He just told Edd to lay on the surface like he would anything else and rest his head on the pillow. When Edd followed his example, Kevin plopped down onto his pile of blankets and fell asleep within minutes.

Long after Kevin's snores filled the room Edd remained awake, his mind turning the chain of events over and over._ How long will I be trapped like this_? he wondered.

_Forever?_

Edd did not get much sleep that night.

* * *

><p>Kevin woke up at the feeling of the sunshine warming his face. After a jaw-splitting yawn he spent a few minutes blinking at the clock in a daze, wondering why he was on the floor and not in his bed. At the sound of quiet shuffling it all came flying back at him in a dizzying rush.<p>

"Fuck," he hissed, straightening. He stretched, threw back the blankets, and got off the floor to see what Edd was doing.

"Good morning," Edd greeted, turning to face him. He had cast aside the makeshift outfit from last night and was wearing another pair of Kevin's shorts and a sweater. There were dark circles under his eyes but the expression on his face put Kevin's worry on hold. He was messing around with Kevin's iPad, fingers moving items on the screen with fascination. It showed how quickly Edd was able to adapt to any situation that he had discovered touch screen. His eyes met Kevin, a vibrant shade of blue.

"That's the customary greeting, is it not?" Edd went back to fiddling with the iPad, his cheeks slowly coloring. "I hope you don't mind that I have...made myself at home, so to speak. I have a habit of keeping things clean. I hope you don't mind."

The rest of his sentence went one ear and out the other as Kevin took in the state of his room. It was _sparkling_. "Woah," he breathed. It hadn't been this clean since his mom had to force the door open to wake him up and she'd helped him a couple of years ago. "It's clean. Really clean."

"I apologize if it not to your liking," Edd hastened to say, setting down the iPad very carefully. "I couldn't sleep and the mess was a successful distraction."

"I don't mind at all," said Kevin. Edd had taken the example from his closet and hung up most of his clothing—including his pants. "Rad. I can't believe you spent the whole night doing this. And you didn't wake me up"

"It was fun. Well, for me," Edd replied. "As you can imagine, my current situation has left me feeling a little discombobulated."

"Yeah, I guess." Kevin rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't so good at comforting people. "You must be wondering what this is, huh." He pointed to the iPad. "Don't get much down in the ocean, do you?"

"No. Please explain." Edd betrayed his excitement when he stood up and sat down next to Kevin. Apparently overnight he had almost mastered the art of walking—at least somewhat. Kevin was beginning to realize that the intelligence in Edd's eyes and the fancy language wasn't just for show; he was really smart.

"Well—" A knock at his door interrupted the two of them. Kevin thought for a second she might come inside and experience a mini-heart attack. Edd went white, scooting himself against Kevin's bedframe.

"Kevin?" his mother called. "It's almost noon. Are you ever going to get up? You'd better not be playing those games again."

"I'm not, mom! Geez. I'm getting changed!"

"Well hurry up! I made sandwiches and you can have some if you come downstairs."

"I got it!" called Kevin. He waited until her footsteps faded before he helped Edd to his feet. "Okay, change of plans. I'll explain more about everything once we've got your _situation_ all figured out. And what I was thinking was that we could pretend you're a foreign exchange student."

At Edd's look he quickly explained what that entailed. "I don't know if she'll believe it, but it's all I've got." He sighed. "Also, you're wearing my clothes. Kinda hard to explain that, so we'll need to do something about that."

"If I remember correctly, humans buy things from stores. We have similar methods, although our currency is probably very different."

Kevin found it hard to concentrate on so much new information all at once. It was going to take a while before he stopped wondering when things would make sense. "Uhh, yeah. I was thinking of using some of my own money to buy you a couple outfits." He eyed the scar running along Edd's head. "And a hat if you'd like. I mean, I dunno how you feel about that being on display."

"They seem like they would be uncomfortable to wear, but..." said Edd, touching the top of his head. He looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I'd like a hat. To some mers my scar is a sign of bravery." He let out a short laugh. "It's far more accurate to say it was dumb luck."

"What happened?"

Edd shook his head. "Shouldn't we focus on the task at hand? Your mother's waiting, and I've never had human food." It would certainly be an experience.

Kevin grinned. "I can't _wait_ to see your face when you eat fried chicken or—well, pretty much everything. It's gonna be so great."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to enjoy this?" Edd drawled.

"Oh you will." Remembering to stay on task, Kevin grabbed a jersey and some shorts from his closet. "Just not as much as me. Remind me to buy a couple peppers for the road. Also you should probably change into something without as much fabric. You're gonna sweat like that." He grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt that he'd outgrown but hadn't yet had a chance to throw away and tossed them in his direction.

While he was in the middle of pulling his shorts over his hips, Kevin glanced at Edd to find him carefully peeling the sweatshirt off of his body. The pants were far too big for him and started to slip down his hips. Kevin stumbled, choking on his words. "Hold on a sec. Actually, there are a few more things. We lowly humans have to dress in layers."

"Ah," said Edd. He blushed. "I remember something about that in those books I read. I apologize for future offenses that I'll probably cause."

Kevin couldn't blame him for being embarrassed; if he'd been thrown into another world, he'd probably feel pretty embarrassed to be caught with his pants down. "Dude, no. You're okay. I doubt you could offend me 'cause I've got thick skin."

He explained the how clothes and their various layers worked, leaving the coming fall for another day. Once Edd was dressed in an orange tee that Kevin almost never wore and a pair of khakis, they were ready to execute the plan.

"We're going to sneak by your mother, be away for hours, and she won't be curious to know where are you?"

"Nah, she won't," assured Kevin. "She knows I like to run around and do stuff with my friends. Speaking of them, I really hope I don't see them today." He grimaced. "I'll worry about that later. Let's just get out of here."

"Gladly!" Edd smiled, some of his former exuberance showing.

* * *

><p>Once they were on the street Kevin could breathe easier. He had to resist the urge to grab Edd by the hand and pull him away from every shiny object that caught his attention. When they were passing a store that displayed a television playing behind the glass, Edd pressed himself against the screen to get a better look.<p>

"Come on Double Dweeb," Kevin hissed, glaring at the display. He grabbed Edd by the shoulder, sending him stumbling backwards. "We gotta go. We're getting you some stuff, remember? Sight-seeing can wait."

"Do you have to do that?" Edd adjusted the shirt along his shoulder. "This is the first time I've seen any of your world. Give me some peace!"

"Look man, I'm sorry but we should—" He watched in horror as Edd ignored him and walked into the doorway of the shop. "No! Don't go in—fuck."

He jogged to the door and burst inside in a futile attempt to apprehend Edd before anybody he knew saw them. And by anybody he meant—

"What's up, Kev!" Nazz waved at Kevin from behind the counter. She barely spared a glance at Edd before giving Kevin her full attention. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you not to get near the tech; I know it confuses you."

Kevin rolled his eyes, inching closer to Edd. He was staring at Nazz he'd discovered the meaning of life. Surely the mermaid world had to have pretty mermaids. Kevin tried to grab him without Nazz noticing, but she didn't miss much. The moment Kevin caught Edd's attention, she shifted gears.

"Who's this?" she asked, clearly trying not to stare at the scar on the side of his head. "You know 'im?"

"Yeah." Kevin started backing up, pulling Edd with him._ Of all the people to see… _The rest of his friends would know about his 'new friend' by sundown. Kevin faked a laugh. "Study abroad student. Before school you know. I'm just showing him around." He pushed the door open with his back and tugged on Ed's arm. "Nice talking to you Nazz. Bye!"

"Wait!" she called. "I want to talk to you and you know I can't follow you out there." She pouted. "Kevin!"

As the door closed behind them, Nazz waved to Edd, her pout transforming into a dazzling smile. "I guess I'll meet you later," she called. "Don't let Kevin get you into trouble."

Kevin sighed and started pulling Ed towards the mall. "That's Nazz. You've seen her before I think. She's awesome, but nosey."

"S-she does seem outgoing," Edd stammered, wiping beads of sweat from his brow.

Kevin rolled his eyes. Why did every guy have to go googly-eyed over Nazz? She was a better friend than a partner. "Don't bother with her. She's all about being 'smart' these days." He made the appropriate air-quotes. "Plus, there's the whole mermaid-man thing."

"What? I—no—I didn't—" Edd's face burned. "I was not making eyes at her. She just has a certain...charm."

"What're you trying to say? I don't have charm?" He bumped Edd with his shoulder.

Edd had been around long enough that he could recognize a show of affection. He rubbed his shoulder and smirked. "You have your own charm, although I may have a bias; you're the first person that I've actually met."

"Still very weird to think about. I dunno if I want to know any more just yet. I've got a headache already."

"Knowledge is power, Kevin," stated Edd. Before he could say more on the matter, Kevin saw the sign for the bus station and waved for Edd to follow him.

"If you've never ridden in a car, you're in for a treat."

"No, but I do recognize the name—"

Suddenly a rumbling, giant machine hurtled towards the two of them at a great speed. Edd let out a horrified squeak as it stopped just in front of their position. A loud hiss echoed and then the door slowly drew open. He'd seen machines like this before, and cars weren't unknown to him, but this was an intimidating version to see up close.

"I've got a bus pass but you don't, so I'll just pay." Kevin started fishing out coins and pulled Edd up the steps. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"That is the furthest thing from my mind!" He grabbed onto Kevin's arm and made a futile attempt to pull them back.

"Don't worry, Double Dork." Kevin pulled him to a seat by the back, sitting them down along an elongated cushion. "It's just a bus. You've probably seen this kinda stuff before." When Edd jumped, he patted his arm. "We're completely safe."

At that moment the gargantuan bus began to move. It's hissing evened into a dull roar and started descending down the hill at a very accelerated rate.

"How long will this last?" he asked Kevin in a whisper.

Kevin glanced at his watch. "About ten minutes, depending on traffic."

Edd swallowed.

* * *

><p><strong>Man, working in those show references. *wipes sweat*<strong>


End file.
